CHOOSING A VEEP

The nation’s political pundits have spent weeks trying to tell us who will be the presidential nominees. From the Iowa caucuses forward, however, these Beltway Prognosticators have been proven wrong again and again, but that is not stopping them from now turning to the next major political question facing America: Who will be the Vice-presidential nominees?

The nation’s political pundits have spent weeks trying to tell us who will be the presidential nominees. From the Iowa caucuses forward, however, these Beltway Prognosticators have been proven wrong again and again, but that is not stopping them from now turning to the next major political question facing America: Who will be the Vice-presidential nominees?

Back in the 1930s, Vice-president John Nance Garner described the office as “not worth a bucket of warm piss.” Since then though, the Number Two has shown an ability to be the de facto Number One. For example, the present incumbent, Buckshot Cheney, not only chose himself to be the VP after serving as head of George W’s search committee, but he even asserts that his office is not a part of the executive, legislative, or judicial branches – the Vice-presidency, he claims, is it’s own branch of government!

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So pundits are on the prowl, trying to be the first to uncover the next Dan Quayle. There are obvious suggestions, such as Huckabee or McCain. But, does a McHuck ticket really sing? Probably not harmoniously. What about governors? The problem there is the “Who Test.” Names like Pawlenty, Sanford, Crist, and Daniels have been run up the flagpole, only to be met with a chorus of “Who?” Or Sonny Perdue – is he the chicken guy or a governor?

On the Democratic side, if Obama is the presidential choice, I suggest a woman VP. No, not that woman – the one who has most impressed me is Michelle Obama – savvy, level-headed, eloquent. “Obama-Obama in 08” has a lyrical ring to it.

Better yet, let’s have a national lottery. Anyone who can comb their own hair pretty much meets the qualifications for VP. Besides, here’s a chance for just a regular American to get a seat at the table. That’s more likely to improve the national political dynamic that anyone the pundits can name.

“At Governors’ Meeting, A Vice Presidential Buzz,” The New York Times, February 25, 2008

“ Who will be John McCain’s running mate?” The New York Times, February 25, 2008

“Battling the bastards is about as much fun as you can have with your clothes on.”

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