Goofy for president

Some 50 years ago, the great satirist and comic strip artist, Walt Kelly, ran his main cartoon character –a possum named Pogo – for president. All across America, people began wearing campaign buttons proudly proclaiming: "I Go Pogo."

Some 50 years ago, the great satirist and comic strip artist, Walt Kelly, ran his main cartoon character –a possum named Pogo – for president. All across America, people began wearing campaign buttons proudly proclaiming: “I Go Pogo.”

In that spirit, it seems to me that Mitt Romney should drop all pretensions that he’s serious, and instead put out buttons proclaiming: “I Go Goofy.” This over-privileged, multimillionaire preppie keeps trying to identify with the common man, but he constantly goofs it up, tripping over his Sperry Topsider yacht shoes.

Enjoying Hightower? How about a weekly email that gives you the full scoop?

In August, for example, he lambasted President Obama for vacationing on the toney island of Martha’s Vineyard, declaring that the Democrat was out of touch with the real America. But – oops – even as he spoke, Mitt-the Populist was seeking a permit to bulldoze his $12 million oceanfront home in toney La Jolla, California, so he could build a house four times as big. A campaign aide explained that the Romneys’ current structure, overlooking a white sand beach, “is inadequate to their needs.” No comment was offered on the fact that Romney also owns two other homes, or that his La Jolla upgrade comes as millions of Americans are losing their only homes.

Goofier yet, though, was Mitt at the Iowa State Fair, dressed in preppie casual and standing on a hay bale. He looked as natural as a rooster in a tuxedo. Responding to a demand from the audience that corporate taxes be raised rather than slashing essential programs for people, Romney chuckled and said, “Corporations are people, my friend.” Talk about unnatural! But, hey, if Mitt can magically transform a corporation into a person, I’d like to marry one. Is Google single?

Romney is totally goofy, but the amazing things is that he’s not the nuttiest Republican running by far – and at least he’s good for laughs.

“Room for All 16 Grandchildren,” The New York Times, August 23, 2011.

“‘Corporations Are People,’ Romney Tells Iowa hecklers,” The New York Times, August 12, 2011.

“Battling the bastards is about as much fun as you can have with your clothes on.”

Never miss a word from Hightower– sign up today:

Send this to a friend