GOP leaders try putting earrings on their hog

Well, there you have it. The Republican Party is "narrow minded" and "out of touch" – a party of "stuffy old men."

Well, there you have it. The Republican Party is “narrow minded” and “out of touch” – a party of “stuffy old men.”

That’s not the pronouncement of a Democrat, but the official conclusion of the Republican Party itself, as detailed in a hundred-page audit commissioned by the party’s national chairman, Reince Priebus. Authored by a panel of five diehard GOP notables, the report concedes that “Public perception of the party is at record lows,” noting (with a palpable grimace) the devastating attitude of one particularly important constituency: “Young voters are increasingly rolling their eyes at what the party represents.” Ouch.

Enjoying Hightower? How about a weekly email that gives you the full scoop?

Having sized-up the problem precisely, the R’s hierarchy then stepped forward with the kind of bold and inventive solution that we would expect from such leaders: Better PR. “Our policies are sound,” declared Priebus, “but… the way we communicate can be a real problem.”

Thus, the Repubs announced that they will launch a $10 million program to market the GOP brand to women, Latinos, young people, and others. Oh, they also intend to hire a chief technology officer to improve the party’s social media outreach. Priebus described these moves as unprecedented in scope and ambition.

Someone should clue him in to an old piece of country wisdom: You can put earrings on a hog, but it won’t hide the ugliness. Bashing gays, immigrants, women, public employees, union members, the poor, the jobless, and more – while hugging banksters and billionaires – is a position problem, not a communication problem.

And don’t expect them to make any real policy changes – so many party factions denounced the audit as an unholy departure from right-wing doctrine that Priebus distanced himself from its conclusions even as he was releasing them: “This is not my report,” he weaseled.

“GOP audit calls for inclusion, but conservative critics balk,” Austin American Statesman, March 19, 2013.

“Republicans want to end perception as ‘stuffy old men,'” www.cnn.com, March 18, 2013.

“Battling the bastards is about as much fun as you can have with your clothes on.”

Never miss a word from Hightower– sign up today:

Send this to a friend