Unfortunately, an exotic flu epidemic has broken out in Washington, DC. Dubbed the “Canadian Hot Sauce Flu,” it uniquely afflicts a particular group of Democratic officeholders and operatives. CHS Flu renders its victims weaker than Canadian hot sauce, leaving them unable to stand boldly for the workaday majority they’re supposed to represent. Instead, the afflicted – who are mostly old-line Party leaders – are reduced to don’t-rock-the-boat corporatism and conservative appeasement when advancing policy ideas. They fear that anything stronger will spook centrist voters.

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