McDonald's generosity exceeds all imagination

At last, a fast food giant that gives a damn about the economic hardships faced by low-wage workers.

At last, a fast food giant that gives a damn about the economic hardships faced by low-wage workers.

Not only does McDonald’s care, but, by gollies, the good executives who sit atop the Golden Archs are goosing-up the meager $8.25 an hour that their workers have been getting paid. As you can imagine, hair-netted hamburger-flippers everywhere would be very grateful to see their hourly wage boosted to $10.

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Well, yes, but McDonald’s didn’t become a giant by paying fair wages, so actually raising the $8.25 wage is not the goose the executives are giving to their workers paychecks. Rather, the burger chain has launched a website that instructs employees on how to stretch that eight-and-a-quarter by better budgeting. “Plan ahead and save,” exclaims McDonald’s Mcredibly helpful website, adding that if each hourly worker would just organize personal financial records properly, he or she would “become a better decision-maker.”

Wow – low pay and a moral lecture! How great is that?

Unfortunately, the website’s suggested budget seems to have been written by Scrooge. Initially, the beancounters forgot to include a few essentials in the “Practical Money Skills” budget they drew-up for low-wage folks. Like clothes, child care, and food. Yes, a fat zero was budgeted for eating! Embarrassed, the clueless budgeteers threw in a little something for chow, but wait –their suggested monthly expenses total nearly $1,000 more than McDonald’s pays its workers. Not to worry, though, for the budget helpfully assumes that each employee will have a second job to cover that shortfall in pay.

Meanwhile, McDonald’s CEO draws $13.8 million-a-year, a take-home that makes budgeting unnecessary. But hourly employees could make that much too – by working only 760 years under the Golden Arches.

“McDonald’s Budget Suggestions: No Food, No Heat, Get A Second Job,”, July 15, 2013.

“Every day and every dollar make a difference,”, July 2013.

“McDonald’s gives new, ex-CEO big pay bumps,”, April 12, 2013.

“McDonald’s $8.25 Man and $8.75 Million CEO Shows Pay Gap,”, December 11, 2012.

“Battling the bastards is about as much fun as you can have with your clothes on.”

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