My choice to be the next Speaker of the US House

House Speaker John Boehner gave up his position because he couldn't stand the job anymore. Next in line was Rep. Kevin McCarthy, who started running for the job, but quickly backed-off. Rep. Paul Ryan says he's thinking about taking the job, even though he doesn't want it.

House Speaker John Boehner gave up his position because he couldn’t stand the job anymore. Next in line was Rep. Kevin McCarthy, who started running for the job, but quickly backed-off. Rep. Paul Ryan says he’s thinking about taking the job, even though he doesn’t want it.

What’s at work here is the Crazy Caucus. At one level or another, nearly all Republican House members belong, but the caucus is driven by about 50 hyper-crazies who believe that the greatest problems facing our country are Hillary Clinton’s emails, Planned Parenthood, the existence of public services, and the “hordes” of Mexicans who sneak into our country so they can vote for Democrats. It’s the job of the House Speaker to try “leading” these mad-dogs to an occasional bit of sanity. Who really wants to do that – or even thinks it’s possible?

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Well… several of the mad-dogs themselves say they should be put in charge. Daniel Webster says he’s available (not the smart guy who compiled the dictionary, but a tea party bozo from Florida). Bill Flores, a little known tea party know-nothing from Texas, says he would unite the House by getting all the members to “spend enough time on our knees praying for each other.” That’s silly, but the idea of keeping lawmakers on their knees is appealing. Mike Pompeo of Kansas, a prince of right-wing pomposity who was elected by the billionaire Koch brothers to be their personal representative in Washington, says he’s ready to lead the House toward a Koch-headed plutocracy.

That’s pathetic. But wait – we have another surprising choice. It’s a little known fact, but the Speaker of our House of Representatives does not actually have to be a member of Congress. So why don’t we choose someone like a kindergarten teacher, a minimum wage worker, an organic farmer, or a circus ringmaster to run the show? Or maybe a group psychologist is what the place really needs.

“Member FAQs,” www.clerk.house.gov, 2015.

“Area congressmen eye Boehner post,” Metro & State, October 15, 2015.

“Prospective House speakers multiply,” Austin American Statesman, October 15, 2015.

“Battling the bastards is about as much fun as you can have with your clothes on.”

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