MY GIFT FOR GEORGE W

For weeks, I've been grappling with the question of what gift I should send to George W for Christmas. Then, it hit me – what he really could use is a nice, big bottle of Truth Cologne!

For weeks, I’ve been grappling with the question of what gift I should send to George W for Christmas. Then, it hit me – what he really could use is a nice, big bottle of Truth Cologne!

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Yes, a bracing, aromatic potion that he can splash on every morning after his shower, strong enough to clear his head and let him see the world as it really is. If George had a daily splash of reality, he wouldn’t go around saying things that are so obviously untrue.

Take his continuing insistence that the internecine carnage in Iraq is not – repeat, NOT – a civil war. Never mind that the Sunni and Shiite factions in Iraq are engaged in the dictionary definition of a civil war, with bloodshed now at the highest level since the American invasion. Never mind that Iraqis themselves call it a civil war – as one tribal leader says, “It’s a crushing civil war. Mortars kill children in our neighborhoods. We’re afraid to travel anywhere because we’ll be killed in busses.” Also, never mind that the Iraq civil war is broadcast nightly on TV for all to see – a reality that causes 68 percent of Americans to admit, yep, that’s a civil war, for sure.

Yet, Bush & Gang refuse to acknowledge what any sensible person plainly sees. Instead, the Bushites play ridiculous semantic games, claiming that it can’t be a civil war because Iraq’s insurgents don’t have “a clearly identifiable leader,” don’t wear military uniforms …and don’t even whistle “Dixie!”

Everybody does better when everybody does better.

Wear it like you mean it.
T’s, totes, mugs, and more in the Lowdown store.

This is Jim Hightower saying… Of course, admitting that Iraq is in civil war would undo George’s “stay the course” strategy, since there’s little support for keeping American troops trapped in the crossfire of someone else’s internal fight. So, see, by sending Truth Cologne to George, not only can he stop embarrassing himself with his denial of reality, but it’ll also help bring our troops home. It’s the perfect gift!

Sources:
“Editorial: Bush talks nonsense about situation in Iraq,” Star Tribune, December 1, 2006.
“A Matter of Definition: What Makes a Civil War, and Who Declares It So?” The New York Times, November 26, 2006.
“An Uncivil War,” The Progress Report, November 30, 2006.

“Battling the bastards is about as much fun as you can have with your clothes on.”

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