OLD FRIENDS

They say that nobody loves you when you are down and out – but this is ridiculous.

They say that nobody loves you when you are down and out – but this is ridiculous.

Poor Jack Abramoff. Only months ago, this supersleaze lobbyist was the darling of top republican politicos, delivering bundles of campaign cash to them, including some $200,000 to George W’s ’04 election run. Abramoff took lawmakers on all-expenses paid jaunts to exotic locales, including squiring Tom DeLay and his entourage to golf outings in Scotland and the Northern Mariana Islands. Jack even had his own posh restaurant on Capitol Hill, where he routinely picked up tabs and held fundraisers for the GOP’s power-elite.

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What a guy! But that was yesterday. Today, Republican leaders say, “Jack, who?” In January, Abramoff pleaded guilty to bribery and corruption charges and he’s now singing like a lark to prosecutors, naming politicos involved in his scandals. No Republican loves Jack now.

George W, for example, says curtly, “I don’t know him.” Wait a minute, retorts Abramoff – I met with Bush many times, we even talked about family matters together. I was invited to the ranch to visit with him. I was one of his “pioneer” fundraisers. He doesn’t know me? Please.

An even deeper cut comes from Tom DeLay, who now coldly asserts, “Jack Abramoff and I were not close personal friends. I met with him only occasionally.” Say what, Jack explodes? Tom, our families vacationed together! I’ve been the go-to guy to sack up cash for your political gambits! And have you forgotten the Northern Marianas, where you declared to a business gathering that I am one of your “closest and dearest friends?”

This is Jim Hightower saying… Yes, Jack, Tom has forgotten you. George, too. It was OK that you were a sleezebag when you could help them, but now you can’t, so they’ve dumped you, old pal. You’re just ol’ whatzhizname. You see, the difference between thieves and politicians is that there’s honor among thieves.

Sources:

“E-mail Notes Say Lobbyist Met President Many Times,” New York Times, February 10, 2006.

“DeLay Mails 8-page letter to rally his GOP troops,” Houston Chronicle, February 10, 2006.

“DeLay bristles at Abramoff questions,” Hill News, February 13, 2006.

“Battling the bastards is about as much fun as you can have with your clothes on.”

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