Rick Perry goes from "wow" to "oops" to "ouch"

To the relief of most Texans, our prodigal governor hath returned.

To the relief of most Texans, our prodigal governor hath returned.

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Most presidential pretenders envision a come-from-behind campaign ending in glory, but Rick Perry ran a vainglorious campaign that went in the other direction, ending in: “Oops.” What happened to poor Perry was… well, Perry. His brain bone simply does not connect to his tongue muscle. So he fumbled, bumbled, and stumbled through the Republican debates, showing the entire nation that he was not presidential sapling, much less timber.

Rick was richly financed by corporate interests, burning through more than $21 million on his political joy ride. But he finished a sputtering fifth in Iowa and New Hampshire and was about to be lapped by “other” in South Carolina, before mercifully ending his sad run. Worse, polls showed he had fallen to third place in his home state!

So, he’s back – but not to any cheers. The general feeling here is that he embarrassed himself and made Texans look like a bunch of ignorant hillbillies. In a new poll, 45 percent of Texans say he soiled the State’s national image, and 56 percent don’t even want him to run for governor again.

Also, Texans are a bit chapped about Perry’s prodigality with our money. While he was running around denouncing government spending and berating people who live on government payrolls, Rick kept drawing his $150,000-a-year state paycheck, even though he wasn’t doing state work. He was also doubling-dipping, using a special loophole to take $92,000 a year in state “retirement” pay, while also collecting his gubernatorial salary. Then there’s some $2.6 million billed to us to cover the cost of the state security detail that traipsed along with him on the campaign trail.

Perry will always be branded nationally as the “oops” guy. But in Texas, he’s called Rick “Ouch” Perry.

“Pool: Perry returning to broad disapproval,” Austin American Statesman, January 26, 2012.

"Two wrongs don't make a right, but three left turns do." --Jim Hightower

“Rick Perry’s $2.6 Million Security Secrets,” www.burntorangereport.com, January 24, 2012.

“State rep asked Perry to pay back state for travel expenses,” January 23, 2012.

“Rep. Farrar to Perry: Return $ to Texas Taxpayers,” www.txhousedems.com, January 23, 2012.

“Perry “Retires” to Boost Pension Pay,” www.texastribune.org, December 16, 2011.

“Perry Exits, and So Does His Depleted War Chest,” www.nytimes.com, January 19, 2012.

“Battling the bastards is about as much fun as you can have with your clothes on.”

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