SOME SENATE DEMOCRATS STIFFEN THEIR SPINES

Whoa, what's this? A bold stand by Senate Democrats? Apparently, someone spiked the water pitchers in the Democratic caucus with some spine-stiffening Viagra pills!

Whoa, what’s this? A bold stand by Senate Democrats? Apparently, someone spiked the water pitchers in the Democratic caucus with some spine-stiffening Viagra pills!

"Two wrongs don't make a right, but three left turns do." --Jim Hightower

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Democrats have stunned Wall Street lobbyists by inserting a good, strong, structural change in their financial reform bill. Their provision would prohibit banks from being in the highly-risky game of derivatives speculation. Derivatives are not an investment in anything real, but simply legalized gambling, allowing high-flying speculators to make bets on such intangibles as whether housing prices will go up or down.

Surprisingly, Sen. Blanche Lincoln – known for literally blanching at the very idea of going against big bankers – was the sponsor of this ban, essentially saying to Wall Street giants, “Decide whether you want to be a bank or a casino – you can’t be both.” After all, we taxpayers insure the deposits held by banks, so this government-guaranteed money should go to business and consumer loans, rather than to gamblers.

Of course, this populist reform has totally freaked out the five Wall Street giants that dominate the derivatives game, so the big five have deployed 130 lobbyists – including former senator Trent Lott and 40 former senate staffers – to kill this one proposal that could restore a shred of sanity to America’s financial system. Wall Streeters are spooked that one party is standing up to them. As one whined, “We’re on the outside knocking on the window and saying, ‘Hey, listen to us just a little bit.'”

Aw, I feel so bad for them, don’t you? Sadly, they’ll probably weaken the ban, but they’re having to spend all of their political capital to do it, meaning they won’t be able to kill other reforms they don’t like. Now there’s a lesson for all Democrats – take a strong stand, and you might do some good!

Whoa, what’s this? A bold stand by Senate Democrats? Apparently, someone spiked the water pitchers in the Democratic caucus with some spine-stiffening Viagra pills!

Democrats have stunned Wall Street lobbyists by inserting a good, strong, structural change in their financial reform bill. Their provision would prohibit banks from being in the highly-risky game of derivatives speculation. Derivatives are not an investment in anything real, but simply legalized gambling, allowing high-flying speculators to make bets on such intangibles as whether housing prices will go up or down.

Surprisingly, Sen. Blanche Lincoln – known for literally blanching at the very idea of going against big bankers – was the sponsor of this ban, essentially saying to Wall Street giants, “Decide whether you want to be a bank or a casino – you can’t be both.” After all, we taxpayers insure the deposits held by banks, so this government-guaranteed money should go to business and consumer loans, rather than to gamblers.

Of course, this populist reform has totally freaked out the five Wall Street giants that dominate the derivatives game, so the big five have deployed 130 lobbyists – including former senator Trent Lott and 40 former senate staffers – to kill this one proposal that could restore a shred of sanity to America’s financial system. Wall Streeters are spooked that one party is standing up to them. As one whined, “We’re on the outside knocking on the window and saying, ‘Hey, listen to us just a little bit.'”

This is Jim Hightower saying… Aw, I feel so bad for them, don’t you? Sadly, they’ll probably weaken the ban, but they’re having to spend all of their political capital to do it, meaning they won’t be able to kill other reforms they don’t like. Now there’s a lesson for all Democrats – take a strong stand, and you might do some good!

“Battling the bastards is about as much fun as you can have with your clothes on.”

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