SURGE

I don't know about you, but I'm with George W on this one: It's time for surge!

I don’t know about you, but I’m with George W on this one: It’s time for surge!

Yes, let’s surge into Iraq with another 20,000 – put ’em out there in the hot spots, sweating sniper fire, praying that the car that just pulled up doesn’t explode in hellish fury, fretting that anyone (everyone!) could be a suicide bomber. I salute you, Mr. War President, for escalating America’s military presence in this civil war, asking even more of our people to step up, step in, and sacrifice their jobs, time, limbs… and lives.

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The only proviso that I attach to my gung-ho endorsement of your exciting surge strategy is this: None of the 20,000 additional troops that you’re committing should come from the ranks of people who’ve already been there, many on their fourth, fifth, and even sixth rotation. Excuse me, but it’s the stuff of tortuous war crimes to keep circling the same people through that shooting gallery.

Instead, here’s my plan: Draft Young Republicans! Yes – they’ve been your most ardent cheerleaders for invading, occupying, and staying the course in Iraq, they have been on the front lines jeering and sneering at war protesters, they have bravely attached those yellow Support-Our-Troops magnets to their SUVs, they have consistently voted for you and your war. So, I say: Give it to ’em!

It’s nice that your own daughters – Jenna and Barbara – have supported your Iraq policy rhetorically, but, come on, why not put their boots on the ground? Give ’em a chance to prove what they’re made of. Those Halliburton executives, too – draft all of their twenty-somethings. And don’t forget Cheney’s young relatives.

This is Jim Hightower saying… Any young Republican who says “Support Our Troops” – should become one. Surely, George, you can find a mere 20,000 of them willing to sign up for your “noble cause.” The least you can do is ask them. Or are you afraid of what they’d say?

Sources:
“Bush’s Iraq Plan Encounters Opposition,” The New York Times, January 11, 2006.

“Battling the bastards is about as much fun as you can have with your clothes on.”

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