Hail, hail the GOP gang’s all here – so let us now welcome Rep. Todd
Akin back into the fold!
Todd, the present Republican nominee for a Missouri U.S. Senate seat, was coldly cast aside by his own partisan flock just a few weeks ago because well, because he’s truly goofy. He’s the “legitimate rape” guy who put forth a theory of voodoo “science” that would prevent even pregnant rape victims from being allowed abortions. If a woman endures a “legitimate” rape, explained this member of – believe it or not – the U.S. House science committee, her body would magically generate some sort of occult hormone that would prevent her from becoming pregnant. Thus, spake Todd, any woman who gets pregnant from an unwanted sexual “encounter” – even a violent one forced upon her – has not experienced a legitimate rape and must bear the rapist’s child.
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Oh, cried every GOP politico from Mitt Romney to the county dogcatcher, this is too weird even for us, so Todd must resign as our party’s nominee, forthwith! Only he didn’t. And guess what? The moral purists who so loudly reviled Akin a few weeks ago are now hugging him, tucking campaign checks in his sordid coat pockets, hoping he’ll win so they – and he – can take over the U.S. Senate. What’s a little rape compared to political expediency?
But – whoops – Todd wasn’t through with his goofiness binge. Now, a video has surfaced in which Mr. Legitimate Rape-Man doubles as Mr.
Legitimate Discrimination-Man. Asked at a public meeting why a woman shouldn’t get equal pay for doing the same work as a man, the guy who would be senator explains – on video – that free enterprise means that corporations are free to discriminate in what they pay women – or people of color, immigrants, older workers, or others.
Keep talking, Todd – we¹re all listening.
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