THE GOP'S GENETIC LINK TO BIG OIL

If scientists were to examine the DNA of oil corporations and of Republican congress critters, I'll bet they'd learn that both are genetically connected. The two species have many similar political instincts and show a deep affinity for each other – so I'm guessing they're from the same genetic pool.

If scientists were to examine the DNA of oil corporations and of Republican congress critters, I’ll bet they’d learn that both are genetically connected. The two species have many similar political instincts and show a deep affinity for each other – so I’m guessing they’re from the same genetic pool.

How else can you explain the remarkable gusher of compassion that Republican lawmakers are presently directing toward Big Oil in general and BP in particular? For example, only hours after winning his party’s nomination for a Kentucky senate seat, GOP teabag darling Rand Paul was on national TV decrying Barack Obama as “un-American” for daring to demand that BP be held accountable for its human and ecological destruction in the Gulf.

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Next came Minnesota’s Lioness of Loopiness, Michelle Bachmann, implying that the hard-hit people of the Gulf are shiftless moochers who’re using the oil disaster to grab corporate cash. Brimming with tears of compassion, the kooky congresswoman wailed that, “[BP] shouldn’t have to be fleeced and made chumps to have to pay for perpetual unemployment and all the rest.”

And who can ever forget the astonishing public apology to BP’s CEO by the oil-soaked Texas Republican, Joe Barton? After Obama had gotten agreement from BP to set aside $20 billion to cover some of the damages it has caused, Barton called Obama’s actions a presidential “shakedown.” He asserted that it made him “ashamed” to live in America, and he obsequiously begged forgiveness from the reckless CEO whose faulty well killed 11 American workers and is doing inestimable economic and ecological harm.

Meanwhile, GOP congressional leaders are working to limit the legal liability of BP and its partners to a paltry $75 million. Such knee-jerk kow-towing has to be genetic, don’t you think? Maybe oil is literally in their DNA.

“GOP Wants a Country by Corporations for Corporations,” www.alternet.com, May 27, 2010.

“Contrarian Michele Bachmann worries BP will get ‘fleeced,'” www.minnpost.com, June 17, 2010.

“Bachmann to BP: Don’t ‘be chumps,'” www.washingtonpost.com, June 15, 2010.

“Our expert on spewing and siphoning,” Austin American Statesman, June 20, 2010.

“Battling the bastards is about as much fun as you can have with your clothes on.”

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