THE UPSIDE TO DOWNSIZING

Let’s check today’s scores: Home Depot: 7,000; GM: 2,000; Sprint: 8,000; Texas Instruments: 3,400; Caterpillar: 20,000; and Pfizer: 26,000.

Let’s check today’s scores: Home Depot: 7,000; GM: 2,000; Sprint: 8,000; Texas Instruments: 3,400; Caterpillar: 20,000; and Pfizer: 26,000.

That’s just a few of the corporations that on a single day in the last week of January announced more than 71,000 job cuts. These came on top of 40,000 people who got the boot the week before that from such brand names as Williams-Sonoma, Microsoft, Clear Channel, Intel, and United Airlines. And the hemorrhaging has only begun, as our economy is expected to lose 600,000 jobs a month this year.

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Fortunately, though, there are a few economic sectors that are doing extremely well. Companies that print pink slips, for example, have never seen better times. Also, economic prognosticators are in heavy demand, now grinding out a record level of inane statements about America’s job situation, including this insight from one economist: “The good news,” he proclaimed, “is it’s so bad right now that we will have a definite, noticeable recovery when it comes.” Uh-huh. Remember, he’s got a college degree and actually gets paid to say stuff like that.

But if you’re looking for a career with a solid future, you might try the layoff industry. Yes, there is such a thing. “Career transition” consultants, are hot these days, as corporate America seeks help in dumping so many employees. These consulting firms give “termination training” to corporate managers, even providi

“Battling the bastards is about as much fun as you can have with your clothes on.”

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