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Let us now praise “Lord Zuckerberg, The Magnificent!”
Mark Zuckerberg, I’m talking about, the wunderkind of Silicon Valley who co-founded Facebook, amassed roughly a gabillion dollars in personal wealth, and is now being hailed as a new giant of American Altruism. That’s because Mark and his wife, Priscilla Chan, after announcing the birth of their first child, stunned the club of uber-wealthy Americans by announcing that, in honor of the baby, they intend to donate $45 billion – 99 percent of their Facebook wealth! – to charity.
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The Wall Street Journal, New York Times, and other media outlets swooned at Zuckerberg’s selfless act: “Philanthropy Pledge Sets New Giving Standard,” gushed Bloomberg News. But wait – lost in the fog of media adulation that has enshrouded Saint Mark since announcing the donation are two important facts: (1) the $45 billion did not actually go to charity, and (2) it was not really a donation.
Instead, as reported by Jesse Eisinger at ProPublica.com, Zuckerberg slyly slipped his fortune into “an investment vehicle” that he created for himself. Far from being a charity, this vehicle is in essence a get-away car, letting him stash his billions in it and speed away without paying taxes he would owe. That’s not generosity, it’s larceny – a perfidious looting of our public treasury by one of the richest creatures on Earth.
Moreover, despite reaping fawning praise for “giving” the money away, it hasn’t really gone anywhere. His sneaky investment scheme is totally under his control, and he can use that $45 billion to buy his-and-her yachts, a small country, a US senator, or anything else he wants.
In fact, Zuckerberg is so rich he could afford to air-condition hell – and I think the worthless so and so would be smart to make that investment!
“How Zuckerberg’s Altruism Helps Himself,” The New York Times, December 4, 2015.