BUSH BACKS HORSEMEAT FACTORIES

I hope you haven't just eaten, because we need to talk about horsemeat. It's not widely known, but there are three horse slaughter factories in the U.S. – two in Texas, one in Illinois. Each year, so... Read more...

JERRY LEWIS, THE CLOWN

You've probably heard of Jerry Lewis, the comedian, but you've probably not heard of Jerry Lewis, the congressional clown – and the clown is the one who has me in stitches from laughing so hard at his anti... Read more...

CONSERVATIVES CHASTISE BUSH

George W insists that he has supreme power as commander-in-chief to spy on American citizens, without following any stinking due process of law. Dick Cheney snarls that anyone who disagrees is a terrorist... Read more...

EXXPOSE EXXON

Shhhhh. Exxon Mobil doesn't want any attention paid to its latest profit report. How big was their profit last year? Shhhhhh. Let's whisper it together: $36 billion. For one year! Holy Robber Baron... Read more...

"SUNTAN JOHNNY" BOEHNER

John Boehner, the newly elected house majority leader, says he's a reformer – so we can rest easy, now, knowing that he'll put a stop to all that corrupt coziness between congress and corporate lobbyists..... Read more...

WHERE'S THE PRESIDENT?

When George W finally got to New Orleans last September after Hurricane Katrina hit, he stood in Jackson Square to address the nation, declaring: "We will do what it takes, we will stay as long as it takes... Read more...

SPYIN' AND LYIN'

As we've seen in his botched handling of everything from the Iraqi occupation to the Katrina disaster, George W is not much of a president. But, let's give credit where it's due – Bush has been a heck of ... Read more...

BUSH'S "DECENT SOCIETY"

Ah, the glowing rhetoric of a presidential "state of the union" speech can be so uplifting, can't it? Take George W's recent flight into this lofty sphere of verbal inspiration. Noting that America i... Read more...

LOBBYISTS REJECT RESTRICTIONS

Both political parties, squirming under the spreading scandals of supersleaze lobbyist Jack Abramoff, suddenly began posing as reformers, saying it's time to reign in the corporate influence peddlers who h... Read more...

THE LATEST "CREEP" OF ADVERTISING

Get ready. They're coming. They've got you right where they want you, and they're convinced that you can't escape this time. "They" are the big-time advertisers, who've been very PO'd at you recentl... Read more...

CONGRESS SPINNING ITS WHEELS ON REFORM

Here's my wise adage for the day: Never mistake motion for progress. For example, if your car gets stuck in mud and you gun the engine, your tires might be spinning at 60 miles an hour, but the car's ... Read more...

BUSH'S IRS GOES AFTER POOR FOLKS

You've gotta love the consistency of the Bushites. When they ram through their multibillion-dollar tax giveaways, it's the superrich and corporations that gain. And when they unleash their IRS to look in... Read more...

FIRING THE WRONG AUTO WORKERS

Wow, it's open season on auto workers, isn't it? In December, General Motors said it was eliminating 30,000 of its workers. Delphi, the biggest maker of automobile components, also whacked its work... Read more...

MICHAEL EISNER'S "INVENTIVENESS"

Who says television is a wasteland? If you're sick of getting 500 channels and still finding nothing to watch, get ready for the exciting debut of the Michael Eisner Show! The who? Eisner – the guy ... Read more...

EQUIP THE GRUNTS!

There's an old bumpersticker that says: "It'll be a great day when our schools get all the money that they need and the Pentagon has to hold bake sales." Well, guess who is now having to hold bake sale... Read more...

SANTORUM SUDDENLY DISCOVERS ETHICS

Attention, class. Once again we have congress to thank for teaching you kindergartners a lesson in moral behavior. The lesson is this, children: If you've been caught doing something naughty, the right ... Read more...

DICK'S DEADLY FANTASIES

One important job for the next president will be to dig into Dick Cheney's White House bunker and to learn exactly what kind of hallucinatory vapors the Veep has been inhaling for the past eight years. ... Read more...